moemoetentacles | 15th Invasion

[Well, it seems the horrible human plague of high fevers and sweaty palms is finally over, so Squid Girl has crawled out from under her covers to conquer Mayfield anew!

[First she heads for the phones.]

Looks like the stupid human plague is finally over. You guys get the dumbest diseases, you know that? The first thing I'm going to do when I'm in charge is wipe that off the face of the planet. It's way too annoying.

[Later on, she heads over to her biffle Taiwan's house carrying a small package along with her and knocking excitedly on her door.]

Taiwan! Hey, Taiwan! Open up!

[Late that night, anyone wandering around Mayfield's streets may see a strange blue glowing form headed their way. Depending on your character's particular proclivities toward being terrified or belief in the supernatural, it may look like a will-o-wisp, a ghost, or a full-on glowing demon from the sixth level of hell ready to devour your character whole. Or it may just look like Squid Girl cheerfully waving her tentacles about as she glows with a soft blue light. Your choice. Either way, she's out wandering the streets trying out her newly regained bioluminescence ability.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

WILL YOU STOP THAT.

FOR ALL I KNOW IT'S SOME SICK SQUID COURTING RITUAL.

STOP FLASHING ME OH SWEET JEGUS I JUST SAID THAT.

But I'm a girl! Why would I be the one doing the courtship ritual?

How am I supposed to know how it works with your species?

The male is supposed to impress the female!

Do ALL Earth beasts follow the male-female pattern like humans? It's sure a weird way to restrict reproduction.

Also, I don't think it's too hard to impress you.

I dunno, I can only really speak for squid. And that's okay, I don't want to mate with you anyway.

[She nods, patting Karkat on the shoulder with a tentacle.]

[Karkat is very, very bothered, but by the implications of that statement and not those tentacles.]

I really want to be angry that you thought suggesting such a thing was in any sort of way necessary right here, but I really have no one to blame but myself for the conversation going down this shit-strewn path.

We can still be friends, though!

Are you going to accept no?

It would make more sense if we were friends, though.

I am going to regret asking this. In fact, I am regretting it already and it has not happened yet.

Why do you say that?

Because you said before that you conquered the sun, remember? And if I'm going to conquer the humans someday, I should probably be on good terms with the guy who's in charge of the sun. I mean, what if you got mad at me and decided to make it stop rising or something? It'd be a big problem!

You really took that comment in the most literal manner, didn't you.

So it's not true?

OF COURSE IT'S NOT TRUE.

ON MY PLANET, THE SUN IS STRONG ENOUGH TO BURN YOU ALIVE IN A SECOND. GETTING MY TROLL BODY BACK AND BEING ABLE TO GO OUT IN THIS PATHETIC HUMAN SUN WAS AN ACHIEVEMENT OF SORTS WHICH IN HINDSIGHT WAS REALLY PATHETIC OF ME TO THINK OF.

SO, NO, I DID NOT CONQUER IT. I CANNOT MAKE IT STOP SETTING OR STOP RISING. WHY YOU THOUGHT THAT'S WHAT I MEANT IS BEYOND ME.

Well you don't have to yell about it, geez!

Bluh! This is stupid.

At least now you won't want to be my friend, right?

I guess if you really don't want to be.

What? What is that?

Are you sad? Seriously? I'm the biggest asshole you'll ever meet. You'd be better off not being friends with me. Why in the world do you look sad over that fact?