Squid Girl

[Hey there, Mayfield.  This idiot still doesn't know what a telephone is, but it doesn't matter, because it seems to have been knocked off the hook during her epic battle with the turkey that got delivered to her door today.]

"W-what are you doing?  Get away!"

[There are several screams, and then the sound of silverware clattering to the ground and dishes breaking.]

"I've got a knife!  I'll use it, I swear!"

[More struggling and knocking over of furniture.  Probably more than is strictly necessary for someone to beat up a suddenly animated turkey that can't even see what it's doing.  But then again, it's fighting one of Mayfield's biggest idiots.]

"Aaaaaahhhh!  Get off, get off, get off!"

[At this point, there are vague noises that sound like something halfway between choking and vomiting.]

"...Crap!  I forgot that doesn't work here!"

[A few minutes more of rolling around on the floor, accompanied by sounds of a physical struggle.  Eventually, there is only heavy breathing.]

"Hah... victory!  That'll teach you to mess with me!"