4th Invasion

[moemoetentacles]

[Hey there, Mayfield.  This idiot still doesn't know what a telephone is, but it doesn't matter, because it seems to have been knocked off the hook during her epic battle with the turkey that got delivered to her door today.]

"W-what are you doing?  Get away!"

[There are several screams, and then the sound of silverware clattering to the ground and dishes breaking.]

"I've got a knife!  I'll use it, I swear!"

[More struggling and knocking over of furniture.  Probably more than is strictly necessary for someone to beat up a suddenly animated turkey that can't even see what it's doing.  But then again, it's fighting one of Mayfield's biggest idiots.]

"Aaaaaahhhh!  Get off, get off, get off!"

[At this point, there are vague noises that sound like something halfway between choking and vomiting.]

"...Crap!  I forgot that doesn't work here!"

[A few minutes more of rolling around on the floor, accompanied by sounds of a physical struggle.  Eventually, there is only heavy breathing.]

"Hah... victory!  That'll teach you to mess with me!"

Comments

[moemoetentacles.livejournal.com]

It did attack me! It jumped up as soon as I touched it and started trying to kill me!

[addittotheheap.livejournal.com]

[ THIS IS THE FACE OF SOMEONE TOTALLY BELIEVING YOU ]

You'll be the 000 to clean up the mess.

[moemoetentacles.livejournal.com]

Fine, then! I won't share any of this with you! To the victor go the spoils!

[addittotheheap.livejournal.com]

Incorrect. It was your mistake thinking that a factored fowl had the capacity for aggression. It's still my meal. [ BECAUSE HE OWNS THIS HOUSE, NOT YOU ]

[moemoetentacles.livejournal.com]

It doesn't look all that good anyway.

[addittotheheap.livejournal.com]

Irrelevant! [ Any day he gets free food is a good day. And look, plenty of free food! Once you get done with picking it off the room.

... Oh, he's not helping, of course not! ]

[moemoetentacles.livejournal.com]

[Throws it in the trash!]

[addittotheheap.livejournal.com]

[ !!! ]

RADIAN!

[moemoetentacles.livejournal.com]

Yeah, take that! Get it out yourself if you want it so much!

[addittotheheap.livejournal.com]

[ You know what? He walks over to the garbage, pulls out a turkey leg that still has a decent-sized chunk of the rest of the turkey attached to it, and throws it straight at her head. ] N factorial!

[moemoetentacles.livejournal.com]

[And she is unceremoniously smacked upside the head with a leg of turkey.]

"Hey! What the heck!"

[Reaches for whatever's at hand - turns out it's a small glass ashtray - and throws it back at him.]

"Take that!"

[addittotheheap.livejournal.com]

[ Ah, but he's ready for the retaliation. He ducks under the ashtray and it sails past, shattering against the wall behind him. A few of the shards nick him, but it's nothing too serious. ]

You're cleaning that up, too, yoctogram.

[moemoetentacles.livejournal.com]

No I'm not!

[addittotheheap.livejournal.com]

Yes, you are.

[ And almost on cue, here comes drone!Mom with the cranberry sauce from the kitchen, saying one thing or another about how children shouldn't argue with their parents and now dinner is ruined and she has to cook a new turkey all by herself, and by the way dear, how could you pick ruined food out of the trash like that, it's disgusting... and so on. Sho isn't exactly caring over here. ]

[moemoetentacles.livejournal.com]

[Turns to the drone mom, pointing at Sho.]

"He started it!"

[addittotheheap.livejournal.com]

Incorrect. You started it by factoring the turkey. [ Paying drone!Mom no mind here because he hasn't cared about her since day one. ]

[moemoetentacles.livejournal.com]

I didn't do anything to the turkey! It tried to kill me!

[addittotheheap.livejournal.com]

That's impossible! You half-witted hectopascal! Dead turkeys don't resume any sort of function!

[moemoetentacles.livejournal.com]

Well this one did!

[addittotheheap.livejournal.com]

0 chance, radian. Now clean up the rest of your mess.

[ Of course, drone!mom is already cleaning it up like a good housewife, but Sho is staring at Squid. EXPECTATIONS. ]

[moemoetentacles.livejournal.com]

"No! Let her do it!"

[Points.]