4th Invasion

[moemoetentacles]

[Hey there, Mayfield.  This idiot still doesn't know what a telephone is, but it doesn't matter, because it seems to have been knocked off the hook during her epic battle with the turkey that got delivered to her door today.]

"W-what are you doing?  Get away!"

[There are several screams, and then the sound of silverware clattering to the ground and dishes breaking.]

"I've got a knife!  I'll use it, I swear!"

[More struggling and knocking over of furniture.  Probably more than is strictly necessary for someone to beat up a suddenly animated turkey that can't even see what it's doing.  But then again, it's fighting one of Mayfield's biggest idiots.]

"Aaaaaahhhh!  Get off, get off, get off!"

[At this point, there are vague noises that sound like something halfway between choking and vomiting.]

"...Crap!  I forgot that doesn't work here!"

[A few minutes more of rolling around on the floor, accompanied by sounds of a physical struggle.  Eventually, there is only heavy breathing.]

"Hah... victory!  That'll teach you to mess with me!"

Comments

[kihihi-witch.livejournal.com]

[Aaaaand Maria's just listening to the whole thing, incredibly confused. Such a strange girl...]

Uu-?

[moemoetentacles.livejournal.com]

"Now I'm gonna eat you! Let's see how you like it!"

[Not paying attention to the phone just yet.]

[kihihi-witch.livejournal.com]

[...Was the turkey trying to eat her?]

Uu-, Maria is on the phone!

[moemoetentacles.livejournal.com]

[Oh, hey, that weird thing on the wall is talking again. Squid Girl walks over and starts yelling into the receiver.]

"Who are you! Are you and this bird in cahoots?"

[kihihi-witch.livejournal.com]

Bird? Maria isn't!

[moemoetentacles.livejournal.com]

So you didn't send this thing to attack me, talking box on the wall?

[kihihi-witch.livejournal.com]

...

Maria's a witch, not a box!

[moemoetentacles.livejournal.com]

What's a witch?

[kihihi-witch.livejournal.com]

A witch is magical, kyaha~ Witches can make things appear out of thin air! Don't you know what magic is?

[moemoetentacles.livejournal.com]

Can you make shrimp appear out of thin air?

[kihihi-witch.livejournal.com]

Not right now... but Maria could!

[moemoetentacles.livejournal.com]

Can you teach me how to do it too?

[kihihi-witch.livejournal.com]

Uu-... Maria is just an apprentice! Beatrice might be able to help, kyakya~

[moemoetentacles.livejournal.com]

Can I meet her?

[kihihi-witch.livejournal.com]

Maria can ask and see! You'll have to be really really good, or she won't help you.

[moemoetentacles.livejournal.com]

If it's for shrimp out of nowhere, I'll be as good as I need to be!

[kihihi-witch.livejournal.com]

Good, good! Maria will put in a good word for you!

[moemoetentacles.livejournal.com]

I appreciate it!

/TOTALLY NOT LATE

[addittotheheap.livejournal.com]

[ And daddy dearest will finally be making his way downstairs after not caring about the sounds of the struggle whatsoever and instead checking the windows. Again. For the fourth time.

And he catches sight of the very poorly-defeated turkey in the dining room and the girl accompanying it. ]

What the factor were you doing?

[moemoetentacles.livejournal.com]

This surface creature attacked me, so I was forced to subdue it!

[addittotheheap.livejournal.com]

... Attacked you. [ I really need to get a 'wtf face' icon. ] That set doesn't attack, radian. It's for eating.

[moemoetentacles.livejournal.com]

It did attack me! It jumped up as soon as I touched it and started trying to kill me!

[addittotheheap.livejournal.com]

[ THIS IS THE FACE OF SOMEONE TOTALLY BELIEVING YOU ]

You'll be the 000 to clean up the mess.

[moemoetentacles.livejournal.com]

Fine, then! I won't share any of this with you! To the victor go the spoils!

[addittotheheap.livejournal.com]

Incorrect. It was your mistake thinking that a factored fowl had the capacity for aggression. It's still my meal. [ BECAUSE HE OWNS THIS HOUSE, NOT YOU ]

[moemoetentacles.livejournal.com]

It doesn't look all that good anyway.

[addittotheheap.livejournal.com]

Irrelevant! [ Any day he gets free food is a good day. And look, plenty of free food! Once you get done with picking it off the room.

... Oh, he's not helping, of course not! ]

[moemoetentacles.livejournal.com]

[Throws it in the trash!]

[addittotheheap.livejournal.com]

[ !!! ]

RADIAN!

[moemoetentacles.livejournal.com]

Yeah, take that! Get it out yourself if you want it so much!

[addittotheheap.livejournal.com]

[ You know what? He walks over to the garbage, pulls out a turkey leg that still has a decent-sized chunk of the rest of the turkey attached to it, and throws it straight at her head. ] N factorial!

[moemoetentacles.livejournal.com]

[And she is unceremoniously smacked upside the head with a leg of turkey.]

"Hey! What the heck!"

[Reaches for whatever's at hand - turns out it's a small glass ashtray - and throws it back at him.]

"Take that!"

[addittotheheap.livejournal.com]

[ Ah, but he's ready for the retaliation. He ducks under the ashtray and it sails past, shattering against the wall behind him. A few of the shards nick him, but it's nothing too serious. ]

You're cleaning that up, too, yoctogram.

[moemoetentacles.livejournal.com]

No I'm not!

[addittotheheap.livejournal.com]

Yes, you are.

[ And almost on cue, here comes drone!Mom with the cranberry sauce from the kitchen, saying one thing or another about how children shouldn't argue with their parents and now dinner is ruined and she has to cook a new turkey all by herself, and by the way dear, how could you pick ruined food out of the trash like that, it's disgusting... and so on. Sho isn't exactly caring over here. ]

[moemoetentacles.livejournal.com]

[Turns to the drone mom, pointing at Sho.]

"He started it!"

[addittotheheap.livejournal.com]

Incorrect. You started it by factoring the turkey. [ Paying drone!Mom no mind here because he hasn't cared about her since day one. ]

[moemoetentacles.livejournal.com]

I didn't do anything to the turkey! It tried to kill me!

[addittotheheap.livejournal.com]

That's impossible! You half-witted hectopascal! Dead turkeys don't resume any sort of function!

[moemoetentacles.livejournal.com]

Well this one did!

[addittotheheap.livejournal.com]

0 chance, radian. Now clean up the rest of your mess.

[ Of course, drone!mom is already cleaning it up like a good housewife, but Sho is staring at Squid. EXPECTATIONS. ]

[moemoetentacles.livejournal.com]

"No! Let her do it!"

[Points.]