5th Invasion

[moemoetentacles]

[Hey look, a certain denizen of the ocean finally figured out how to use the telephone after almost an entire month of living in Mayfield!  Squid Girl's voice comes ringing over the lines loud and clear, and also completely unfiltered.  Hey, let's not ask for miracles, okay?  It's amazing she even made it this far on her own.  Anyway, she's excited as heck, and about to make a huge announcement.]

"Attention, people of Mayfield!  This is Squid Girl speaking!  I am pleased to announce that I have just formed an unofficial alliance with the nation of Taiwan - it's called the Squid Girl-Taiwanese Unofficial Alliance!  I've also been informed that there's no ocean here to pollute, so I've decided to protect whatever water there is in Mayfield, starting with that pond in the park!  If you pollute it, you'll have to answer to both me and my new ally!  And if anyone messes with one of us, you'll now have to fight us both!  So do the smart thing and give up now - there's no way you'll be able to resist our combined powers!"

[At this point, there's a few seconds of silence.  She's trying to think of something cool to say to wrap this thing up.]

"...That is all!"

[Totally nailed it.]

Comments

[moemoetentacles.livejournal.com]

Shut up, enemy of the sea!

[heartstar-blues.livejournal.com]

"Hey, I like the sea. Without it I wouldn't be able to go to the beach.

I just don't like you."

[moemoetentacles.livejournal.com]

Well... as long as you're not polluting the water!

[heartstar-blues.livejournal.com]

"Glad we agree. I won't pollute your water if you don't continue with this stupid noise pollution and stop calling me."

[moemoetentacles.livejournal.com]

You didn't have to pick up the phone!

[heartstar-blues.livejournal.com]

"It rang. Stop calling me."

[moemoetentacles.livejournal.com]

I just picked it up and started talking! It's not my fault! That's how phones work, isn't it?

[heartstar-blues.livejournal.com]

"No, you usually get to choose who you call. I answer the phone because I think it might be important and instead it's just a kid ranting about playing house or something."

[moemoetentacles.livejournal.com]

Choose who you call? How do you do that?

...And I'm not playing around! This is serious!

[heartstar-blues.livejournal.com]

"... Stop using things you don't know how to use!"

[moemoetentacles.livejournal.com]

But I do know how!

[heartstar-blues.livejournal.com]

"How about I give you an incentive to learn?"

[moemoetentacles.livejournal.com]

An incentive?

[heartstar-blues.livejournal.com]

"Yeah, you learn how to figure out the phone or I will pour something new into your house's water supply every time you accidentally call me."

[moemoetentacles.livejournal.com]

What? That's so mean!

[heartstar-blues.livejournal.com]

"It's called incentive. If you learn I won't be meant to you."

[moemoetentacles.livejournal.com]

Will you teach me, then?

[heartstar-blues.livejournal.com]

"No I will not...

Nevermind. ☠☠☠☠ it. Sure, I'll teach you.

Whatever gets you to stop calling me about stupid ☠☠☠☠.

[moemoetentacles.livejournal.com]

Okay, so how do I do it?

Since spazzy isn't sure how it's actually done, let me bs it.

[heartstar-blues.livejournal.com]

"First let's start with those numbers. Dial certain numbers and you only certain people. Now here are numbers not to dial."

[Includes the call all number.]

"That one calls everyone including me."

I think it's just you ask the operator to connect you to whoever or something

[moemoetentacles.livejournal.com]

Ohhhhhhhhhh... okay! That sounds easy!

Oh

[heartstar-blues.livejournal.com]

"Also, if you hear a lady on the other end of the phone ask, tell them not to dial The Ca... er... Mark Matthews."

[moemoetentacles.livejournal.com]

Right. Don't call Mark Matthews. Got it!

[heartstar-blues.livejournal.com]

"See, not so hard."

[moemoetentacles.livejournal.com]

I'll do that next time, then.